For Goodness sake

When I went to India in Dec 08, I became suddenly aware of just how self-oriented we can be as Americans.  I’m not just talking about being selfish, but self-oriented. It seems that if we are unaware of it, underneath the majority of our activities we have ourselves in mind.  We seek friends to add enjoyment to our lives.  We look for a raise to add to our financial status.  We can serve others while being motivated by the good feeling we get when we do it.

Through the rapid process of building intense relationships with these wonderful people, I realized this by contrast.  I saw the hearts of those we lived with and laughed with.  I became aware of how they were more others-oriented than I had ever been.  It seemed that at the bottom of their actions of kindness was a genuinely selfless love for others. I felt like they were better people because of it.

What would Jesus say…

Give Me Your Eyes

In a few weeks I’m singing “Give me your eyes” by Brandon Heath.

Here’s the music video.

Here’s what it has done in me.

Jesus Messiah

Last weekend I sang Jesus Messiah by Chris Tomlin.

Here’s a YouTube in case you don’t know the song…

Voices

Around Christmas last year I received an incredible gift. Someone I don’t even know gave me a copy of The Bible Experience. It is a reading of the New Testament with background orchestrations and sound effects. It’s amazing. You really feel like you are… uh… experiencing the Bible.

For the last two weeks I have been listening to the Gospel of John. It is read by LaVar Burton. And since I have been known to be a closet Trekie, I remember him well from the Next Generation days as Geordi La Forge. Ah… memories… (Don’t you DARE make fun of his… his… vision enhancer. and NO it’s not a banana comb with gold spray paint. gimme a break.) ANYWAY….

He provides an incredible rendering of the voice of John. Because I knew his voice, I was immediately drawn to listen to the entire book. I don’t know who plays Jesus, or how this project was even recorded. What I mean is, where the actors all standing in the same room reading their parts and interacting? Probably not. But it sure sounds like they were. The interaction is amazing.

Hearing the pages of John’s Gospel read by such talent brings a depth and intimacy with the events that are recorded like I have not experienced before. I listened as Jesus healed people and the sound of a crowd gasping in surprise. I listened as Jesus washed the disciples feet, talked of His death, and then goes on and on for chapters pouring out of His heart incredible teaching. I sighed with Him as He said, “I have so much more to say to you. It is more than you can handle right now.” (16.12) It’s as if He has so much to share with them, knowing He won’t be with them much longer, that He just can’t stop talking. (I can relate to THAT!) When He sighs, you can hear in his voice that He just wants to teach more, give more, share more.

I listened as He was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane. I listened as the mob of people shouted for His crucifixion. I listened as John, struggling to complete his sentences, talked about what it was like to watch Him die.

Something very curious struck me all through John’s retelling. He always refers to himself as ‘the disciple whom Jesus loved.” I always thought that was kinda arrogant. Like he was saying “I, John, Me, guy whose writing this… was the disciple Jesus loved.” Like he wanted to separate himself from the rest by that designation. This was inaccurate I believe. If you really listen to John and how he told the stories of Jesus’ healing, the accusations towards Him by religious leaders, and what he picked to tell us about Him, I don’t think John was piously puffed up when he referred to himself that way. And I have Lavar to thank.

I believe it’s more like John felt it would be too… presumptuous to say “I” saw this or that, or “I” laid my head on Jesus chest at the table, or “I” was the only one who was there when Jesus was crucified. That would have made him stand out in contrast with the other disciples. Instead, he refers to himself in the 3rd person as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” generically. After all, didn’t Jesus love all of His disciples?

Lavar gives this little uncomfortable pause and catch in his voice each time he, as John, is referring to himself that way. And I have to wonder: Because John was leaning on Jesus at the last supper and seemed affectionately close to Jesus, did that make him even more aware of the Heart of Jesus? Because Peter, when Jesus told him of the kind of death he was going to die, said “What about this man?” referring to John, I have to wonder if Peter’s personality was a bit miffed at John always hanging on Jesus. I don’t know for sure. But why is John’s Gospel so different from the others? Why does it start off so… poetically? And why is John the one whom Jesus reveals such mind-warping visions to him that it became the final book in the Bible?

I love the Bible. Sometimes all it does is raise more questions. But for there to be questions, there must be something we believe underneath. If we didn’t believe anything, would we ask any questions? Aren’t we just trying to reconcile what we believe with what we don’t believe in comparison to what we read?

It was humbling to hear from John this way. I know it was read by an actor and we don’t really know if John himself would have said things precisely that way. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wondering. Especially if it makes me want to lay my head against Jesus and listen to His heartbeat for a while.

DeadFishIdentity

I can still remember the morning. It was before sunrise. I was on the US 20 bypass just before the CR17 exchange. I heard God whisper my name. It’s been years since then. But I can still hear it in my head if I get real quiet. And I can still hear it in my heart if I stop arguing enough to listen…